everything looks different in the morning

[onewizardwolfpack]

Everything seemed familiar as Remus woke. His world was small and concentrated around the pain in his body, the stale metal taste in his mouth. His thoughts were sluggish and his senses felt incredibly dull. He was lying on his side, his shoulder wedged uncomfortably beneath his body, and as he clumsily pushed himself upright his blood started to move more freely, which made him grimace.

He'd made a mess of the floor.

With a rough sound he let his fingers hover over the deepest cut in his arm, and closed his eyes, willing the skin to knit, just enough where the bleeding would stop. Nothing happened. It had been a while since a transformation, even one as violent as this one had apparently been, had stopped him from doing nonverbal magic. If the burning pain in his legs and side were any indication, getting a hold of his wand was going to be a bitch. Gritting his teeth together, he started to his feet, tucking his arm tight against his stomach, and stumbled in the direction he'd left his clothing and wand, folded up and wedged tight between the crap old tool bench and cold masonry wall.

Only none of those things were there.

The room he was in was larger than the one he used for his transformations. There was a cluster of washers and dryers- was he in a laundry? Oh fuckssake, was this a laundry?- were set in the middle of the room. No, no windows, it couldn't have been a proper laundromat. It was some basement, someone's basement. He'd never seen it before. His brain struggled toward alertness, but sheer disbelief was making that difficult.

For the first time in a long time, Remus felt something like real, cold fear. He was injured, significantly, bleeding quite a lot. Wandless magic wasn't working and his wand was nowhere to be seen. He had no idea where he was.

Which meant he'd gotten out. How had he gotten out? How could the charms have failed? What if some of the blood on the floor- on him- wasn't his own?

“Ngh- no,” he said to himself, though it came out a rough, broken whisper. He turned, looking for an exit, and saw stairs leading up to a door. Unfamiliar stairs, and an unfamiliar door.

“Oh, please, no,” he whispered fervently, and lurched toward them, blood running to ice in his veins. He stumbled once, cracking his knee against the corner of a step, but pushed himself onward, and when he clumsily shouldered the door open, he fell onto a cold, plain floor. Not wood. Not his flat. Not even his building.

What had he done?

Comments

[blackedout]

"No," Sirius quickly replies, and feels immediately guilty for that, too, as if he's somehow been less than truthful in his grief. "The day of the wedding. None of it had happened yet, I had to hear about it from others or read about it in books. This place…" He sighs, inescapably weary. "It has magic, but it's stingy with it and sometimes cruel."

He touches Remus' face again, a firm splay of his fingers over stubbled jaw, and it never once enters his mind that it might not be his place to do so. "I've missed you, you know. I wasn't sure I'd see you again."

[onewizardwolfpack]

He didn't flinch, not from Sirius, but it was still difficult to remain still- to neither pull away nor lean into the touch.

"And I knew I'd never see you again," he replied, taking in the angles of his former friend's face, the shape of his mouth, his eyes.

His hair was different. But then, Remus supposed that Sirius wasn't the only one who'd changed. Remus himself had more scars, more lines, more flecks of silver in his hair. He must have looked a fucking wreck to the younger man before him, and he was stunned that he had presence of mind enough to feel self conscious about it.

"I am... glad to be wrong." He let out a rough, shaky sigh, ducking his head and dislodging Sirius's hand. He was furious with the other man, for so many things, if one less, now. He was far too tired to dip into that well, though, and far too happy to see Sirius alive and ostensibly whole to get into the mess of it, of them.

"So that's Harry."

[blackedout]

Sirius looks at his hand and then draws it back with a glance over his shoulder toward the door. "It's uncanny, isn't it? How much he looks like James."

His gaze lingers a moment before he pulls it back to Remus. "He's absolutely brilliant. Got all the best parts of both of them. And he really loves you, too, so go easy on him, yeah?"

[onewizardwolfpack]

"What?" Remus said, looking up, plainly confused.

"Why?"

[blackedout]

The withering look Sirius gives Remus makes him almost feel something approaching normal.

"Dumbledore brings you to Hogwarts to teach him," he explains. "You were a bit like a father to him. Me, too, apparently-" His voice halts abruptly, just in time to keep from mentioning how he dies in that alternate future he may never be a part of.

"It's a wonder he turned out so well with the two of us as role models," he quickly adds instead.

[onewizardwolfpack]

"That's completely daft," Remus said. No one would allow a werewolf to teach their children, even if Remus had been suited for the job, which he wasn't.

"On every count. This is mad," he added, and then without thinking reached up twisting a lock of Sirius's hair into a fine rope between his fingers, and all the sadness and hurt he'd managed to push down came flooding back into his face.

"This is real," he said quietly, and though it wasn't a question it certainly wasn't the surest he'd ever sounded.

[blackedout]

"Daft but real is a good way to describe it," Sirius softly agrees as he reaches up to catch long fingers against Remus' wrist. "If it was a dream, you'd look less like shit and I'd be the one naked," he adds with the faintest upward quirk of his mouth.

[onewizardwolfpack]

The words stung furiously to hear, because they were so true. Remus looked down and withdrew his hand, expression subtly but fully cordoning itself off. He opened his mouth, unsure as to what he was going to say, exactly, when he noticed Harry standing in the doorway.

He wished he had any idea of how long he'd been there. He straightened a little and cleared his throat.

"Harry. Thank you."

[theboywholived]

Harry had taken his time at the clothes box. He needed to pick out things that would both fit Remus and did not embarrass him, which was not that simple of a task around here. The navy sweatpants and white t-shirt weren't stylish, but they were better than the dozens of brash t-shirts with witty lines about werewolves that the box had tried to force on him.

Harry had also taken his time in hopes that Remus and Sirius would... be normal again. It was obvious to Harry, watching them from the doorway for all of twenty seconds, that they hadn't quite gotten there yet.

"You're welcome," he said. "I think they should fit."

He moved forward to hand the clothes over to Remus and strongly considered leaving them to it again.

[blackedout]

"Oh good," Sirius says, gaze abruptly drawn to his godson. He's got no idea how much Harry heard or even how much Harry had already inferred, but the awkwardness in the room is palpable and he's back to his feet before he knows it, patting his pockets.

"I've done a poor job of filling him in, I'm afraid," he says, and pulls out a cigarette that trembles finely between his fingers, belying his casual tone. "It's got a bit close in here, I'm going out for a smoke."

He perches the cigarette between his lips, thinks better of it and pulls it free again so that he can lean in and drop a kiss to Remus' forehead. "You're gorgeous, stop sulking. I'll bring you some tea on my way back."

He turns then and marches out, pausing only to give Harry's arm a squeeze as he passes.

[onewizardwolfpack]

Remus wished he could have been so casual and easy, even if it was only a facade. He watched Sirius go from the room, eyes tracking him until he was gone from the doorway, before he let out a slow, silent breath and dropped his face into his hands.

He was shaking a little, and needed to stop. Harry was still there. After a moment of digging his fingertips against his scalp, he dropped his hands and straightened up, lifting the shirt and soft cotton trousers from his lap. He looked at Harry, took in the build and the hair. Sirius was right. He was the spitting image of his father. But there were things in his manner, in the way expressions formed and moved on his features, that reminded him powerfully of Lily.

And there was the scar.

He offered the young man a weak approximation of a smile. It was a bit grim, all told.

"I'm afraid I've made a terrible first impression."

[theboywholived]

Sirius' touch eased the sharp spike of mingled jealousy and annoyance. How come he got to escape the heavy atmosphere of the room? How come he got to leave Harry to the business of explaining to Remus his whole life had changed?

As he left, Harry glanced up to see Lupin shaking, just a little, and he realized that all that didn't matter. They had done so much for him -- died for him -- that a little, or even a lot, of uncomfortableness was a small price to pay.

But Merlin's saggy y-fronts, why did everything have to be so complicated?

He gave Remus a slight, thin smile and shook his head.

"No," he said. "Not to... sound weird or startle you, but this isn't the first time we've met. This isn't my first impression of you. And even if it were, it's not that bad."

[onewizardwolfpack]

"Yes," Remus murmured, "Sirius said I teach you, at one point. At Hogwarts."

He couldn't find it in him to have an actual opinion on the matter, except that it didn't seem very likely.

[theboywholived]

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," Harry supplied. He wasn't sure Lupin was all that interested, but Harry cared.

"You were the best one we ever had." Which said a lot about the other teachers as well as about Lupin.

Harry paused, his thin smile growing into something warmer.

"First time I met you, you saved me from a Dementor. That makes for an excellent first impression."

[onewizardwolfpack]

Remus's head snapped up, even as he eased himself out of the hospital bed to start pulling the track pants on.

"What? What the f- on earth was a Dementor doing anywhere near you?" he asked.

[theboywholived]

Harry started to respond, then dropped his gaze against the uncomfortable truth.

"Sirius Black had just escaped from Azkaban," he explained quietly. "The idiots at the Ministry thought he'd be after me. I guess they had reason to, but they're still idiots and they sent a whole bunch of them to Hogwarts. To guard the school."

[onewizardwolfpack]

Remus stood fully, taking a careful step away from the bed and shaking the t-shirt out. He would look a nightmare until he could get into a shower, but he ached too much and was too tired to ask after one. There was too much in his head to make it a priority. He pulled the t-shirt on, absently regretting that it was white, and would be ruined with spotty blood stains overnight.

"...What timing," he said eventually. He looked at Harry, eyebrows drawing faintly together, then realized he must look awfully disapproving, which wasn't his intent at all.

"The last time I saw you, you kept grabbing my nose."

[theboywholived]

He did look awfully disapproving. But he looked like a teacher to Harry; they tended toward disapproving even when they were pleased.

Harry smiled wryly and shrugged. "I ended up Seeker for Gryffindor House. Guess I was just showing my instincts early."

[onewizardwolfpack]

And there was James. Remus scrubbed a hand through his hair and sat.

"How long have you been here?"

[theboywholived]

"A little bit more than a year," he said.

Afraid of what the next question might be -- When did you come from? and all the rest about Harry's life -- Harry carried on quickly.

"There's a lot of people here that you don't know that know you. They're.. going to be excited to see you. ...Sorry." It was nice to be missed and wanted, but when it came from people you didn't know, it was uncomfortable.

[onewizardwolfpack]

Fucking hell.

"Really?" he mumbled, looking a little pained at the thought.

"People from home?"

[theboywholived]

Harry paused for three seconds too long, then nodded.

"My friends-- Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Luna-- we all had you as a teacher and... after." Harry had learned his lesson somewhat. He wouldn't be telling Lupin anything about the war, the return of Voldemort and Harry's place in all of it for a while yet, unless it became lying not to tell him. He wouldn't be able to keep himself from telling Remus his fate, and the fate of his son, and that had been a terrible shock when Harry had told the previous him.

There was enough confusion in dealing with the previous hims.

"Draco Malfoy, too. He was at Hogwarts with us. Bill Weasley's here, Mr. and-- Molly and Arthur Weasley's oldest son. He knows you. Oh, and--"

His voice dropped to a resigned, sullen mumble.

"Snape."

[onewizardwolfpack]

A bunch of teenagers he'd never met but nevertheless taught in school, the adult child of Molly and Arthur, the undoubtedly pleasant spawn of Lucius Malfoy and, if he remembered correctly, Sirius's cousin Cissy and, of course, Severus Snape.

"Severus," he said, blinking in surprise.

"...has been trapped here with Sirius and neither's managed to kill the other? How alarming."

[theboywholived]

Harry shrugged again. "There's no magic." One thing he had noticed was that pureblood wizards tended to forget they had fists as well as wands when push came to shove.

"And Sirius has gotten better, I think. Snape keeps to himself."

As he glanced anxiously to the doorway, hoping to see Sirius, Harry's face took on a slightly pained expression.

"There's something else even more alarming," he said. "If you're not tired of all this yet."

[onewizardwolfpack]

Remus pitied Harry in that moment, but he knew damn well Sirius wouldn't be back any time soon. That cigarette would turn into two. If he'd been the one to make a break for it, he could have stretched it to five, easily, and Remus didn't even smoke.

"Go on, Harry," he said, barely managing to bite back a sigh, gaze attentive and focused.